Random jokes

A Tool ->

A dentist friend of mine had a T-shirt which said on the front: Let me put my tool in your mouth... and on the back: ...and I will fill your cavity.... [ca造 ->]

I Spy ->

Five year old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a keyhole at their parents making love: "Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to stick a finger in our nose!"... [ca造 ->]

A few lil' insults to remember ->

You're momma so fat, she be sellin' shade! You're momma so ugly, she walked down the street and got arrested for indecent exposure! You're momma so old, her s*#t has wrinkles! You're momma so stupid, she gave birth to you and asked the doctor if y... [ca造 ->]

Adages and Questions ->

What do you call an unemployed jester? ... Nobody's fool. Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at. Why politicians don't enjoy the game of golf -- Because for them, it's too much like their work -- you know, being trapped in one bad ... [ca造 ->]

The dumb blonde and her used car! ->

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to mak... [ca造 ->]

The Blonde and the Shepherd ->

There was this blonde girl who had gotten fed up with blonde jokes, so she decided to dye her hair black. So she did, and she was sooooo happy with it that she went to her car and drove around just to show off her new look. She was coming up to th... [ca造 ->]

I'm Turner Brown ->

A small guy goes into an elevator, looks up and notices a huge dude standing next to him. The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." T... [ca造 ->]

10 reasons why it sucks to be a penis! ->

01. -You've got a hole in your head. 02. -Your master strangles you all the time. 03. -Your head is smaller than the rest of you 04. -You shrink in cold water. 05. -You never get a haircut. 06. -You always hang around with 2 nuts. 07. -You... [ca造 ->]

Little johnny at school 2 ->

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause t... [ca造 ->]

One Hundred Orgasms ->

A blonde and a brunette were discussing their boyfriends: Brunette: Last night I had *three* orgasms in a row !! Blonde: That's nothing; last night I had over hundred. Brunette: My god ! I had no idea he was that good. Blonde: (looking shocke... [ca造 ->]

If You Love Something.... ->

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If, however, it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telepho... [ca造 ->]

Anagrammar! ->

George Bush: When you rearrange the letters: He Bugs Gore Dormitory: When you rearrange the letters: Dirty Room Evangelist: When you rearrange the letters: Evil's Agent Desperation: When you rearrange the letters: A Rope Ends It The Morse... [ca造 ->]

On the porch ->

Two elderlies are rocking on the porch at the home. "Bet you can't guess how old I am," he says. "Bet I can," she says. "Bet you fifty dollars you can't tell me how old I am," he says. "You're on," she says. "Stand up." He stands up. She looks him... [ca造 ->]

Blonde & Brunette ->

A blonde and a brunette were watching the 11:00 pm news. The current news story was about a man up on a ledge and threatening to jump, when the station cuts to a commercial. Brunette: I bet you $20 he's going to jump. Blonde: OK. (Back to new... [ca造 ->]

Bake A Long Time ->

Q: Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days? A: It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.... [ca造 ->]